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Subject: Calaf loses his head!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
From: Charles Handelman <[log in to unmask]>
Reply-To:Charles Handelman <[log in to unmask]>
Date:Fri, 31 Mar 2017 00:46:13 -0400
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Heads off..............................................
Mr.Coppola,100 yrs.old, conducted Turandot in Florida.He presented Diana
Soviero wth a well-deserved award....BUT he decided that since Turandot was
never finished..HE would finish it...and the ending was,

"Il suo nome e CALAF!!!! and he is beheaded!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  I kid you
nicht!!!!!
!
Well, this is a great precedent...so Charlie,who is slightly insane (only
slightly???) now will do a Coppola and the following slight changes in
operas will occur:

1. Hansel and Gretel never loved mommy so they dive into the oven with the
witch......so NO MORE HOMEWORK!!!

2.  In a fit of relous jage, the Marshallin shoots Octavian and goes off
with Sophie to the Island of Lesbos.

3. Buoso Donati amazingly awakens and kills the family;he then sings:
"O mio AK47 caro."

   To REVERSE this idea:

 1. Only fat Violettas sing the role..and when Annina asks the doctor about
her health..He says,"She will live longer than Magda." Her last phrase is
"Everything's comin' up Valery."

2. The entire cast of the Ring comes out and says, "NU??You thought we used
real fire???"

3. Carmen does NOT die in the curtain(see Rise Stevens). The knife was
really made of cardboard. She then laughs at poor Jose and says,
"Bullshit....I am running away with Dmitri Hvorostovsky"

   and I am off my medicine.......CH

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