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Subject: TRUMP'S FIRST 100MDAYS (formerly, Since someone started this)
From: George Gumerman <[log in to unmask]>
Reply-To:RAYMOND GOUIN <[log in to unmask]>
Date:Wed, 9 Nov 2016 20:15:24 -0700
Content-Type:text/plain
Parts/Attachments:
Parts/Attachments

text/plain (178 lines)


Yes.  But a la the EmCee in Cabaret.

:(

Best from Boston.
Ray Gouin

PS: Speaking of the foregoing --

DONALD TRUMP’S REAL FIRST HUNDRED DAYS
(Sophomoric but so is Trump) 

Name Donald Jr. to be Attorney General.

Name Melania to be Secretary of State.

Issue an executive pardon to Chris Christie for Bridgegate.

Name Chris Christie to be Attorney General. 

Name Arizona Sheriff Joe Arpaio to head the Department of Justice.

Name David Duke to head the FBI.

Erect a guillotine in the Rose Garden.

Take time out to tweet. 

Exile Barack Obama from America for being an undesirable alien. 

Give Michelle Obama a job as a housekeeper in the White House (“no hard feelings”).

Give Oprah a job as Melania’s maid in the White House (likewise, “no hard feelings”).

Give Hillary a fair trial and then jail her.

Dissolve both houses of Congress as being unnecessary (while the Capitol burns after being set on fire by “Communists”). 

Dissolve the CPSC, EPA,  EEOC, FAA, FCC,  FDIC, the FED, FTC,  FDA,  ICC,  NLRB,  NRC,  OSHA,  the  SEC and all other Federal regulatory agencies to cut the cost of government.

Take time out to tweet.Federalize the National Guards and change their names to the Trump Troopers. 

Take away the right of women to vote. 

Take away the right of women to have a last name or to own property; instead assign them numbers (e.g.. “I am a No. 4").

Legalize polygamy.

Stock the Rio Grande with piranha.

Repeal Obama Care.

Repeal the Constitution (except for the Second Amendment).

Take time out to tweet.

Cede Alaska to Putin as a good will gesture.

Annex Canada (will that qualify me for a knighthood?).

Take back the Panama Canal.(future home of Trump Tropical Resorts)

Send in the Marines to seize and nationalize Iraqi oil fields (to cover American costs of Iraq War).

Count all non white, non Anglo-Saxon Americans as constituting  1/4 of a person in the taking of the census and in counting votes.

Require all Muslims in the U.S. to wear 6"x6" brown cloth badges that prominently feature a gold crescent and star. 

“Reform” the US Tax Code by imposing a 500%  surcharge on all non-Christians who are required to file tax returns and a 1000% surcharge on all aliens who are likewise required to file. 

Take time out to tweet.

Stiff Kellyanne Conway of her pay as Campaign Manager

Make the NRA a government agency.

Except for the children of senior grade Trump supporters, limit public and private education to the sixth grade. 

Order that all public and private libraries be burned. 

Add the Auto-da-fe and waterboarding to the punishments authorized under the U.S. Criminal Code.

Declare War on and invade Iran.

Make it a capital offense for a woman to claim that she was groped by Trump.

Take time out to tweet.

Name Eric to be Vice President (after the unfortunate “accident” to Vice-
President Pence).

Name Steve Bannon to be Chief Justice of the Supreme Court (after the unfortunate “accident” to Justice Roberts).

Expel the United Nations from the US (with the UN’s former NYC location  becoming the future home of Trump Tower II).

Mandate that 20% of all pension plan holdings be in Trump Enterprises stock. 

Change the name of the Boy Scouts to the Trump Youth and the name of the Girl Scouts to the League of Trump Girls. 

Name Baron to lead the Trump Youth and as King of Rome.

Mandate that portraits of Trump appear on every U.S. stamp.

Mandate that portraits of Trump and pictures of Trump properties appear on all
denominations of U.S. currency and coinage.


Mandate that every post office and court house in the country be renamed the “Trump Post Office” and the “Trump Courthouse”.

Mandate that portraits of Trump be displayed on every other telephone and electric pole in the country and that the slogan “DONALD TRUMP IS WATCHING YOU" be posted on the remainder. 

Take time out to tweet.

Designate Trump Tower as the tallest building in New York City.

Designate Trump Tower as a national monument. 

Designate June 14 (Trump's birthday) as a national holiday. 

Replace "The Star Spangle Banner" as the national Anthem with “God Bless our Savior Donald Trump"...

Rename Washington D.C. as Trump D.C.

Rename the United States of America as Trumpland.  

Replace the Statue of Liberty with a statue of Donald Trump giving the finger to the rest of the world. 

Take time out to tweet.

And last, but certainly not least ...

START WORLD WAR III

RG

***
> On November 9, 2016 at 7:05 PM Kathy Crandall <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
> 
> 
> At least we can be certain there will be plenty of fodder for late night comedians.
> 
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