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Subject: Re: "Trump: The Opera" in the Wall Street Journal
From: donald kane <[log in to unmask]>
Reply-To:donald kane <[log in to unmask]>
Date:Thu, 3 Nov 2016 10:38:10 -0400
Content-Type:text/plain
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text/plain (217 lines)


Why are operatic parodies rarely ever funny?   This is one of the worst;
entirely predictable, and tedious to read.

Could it be because a straight account of many real operas is likely
to be funnier?

dtmk

On Thu, Nov 3, 2016 at 9:12 AM, Charles Harrison <[log in to unmask]> wrote:

> Here is a piece by Dan Henninger in the Wall Street Journal today.
> Because WSJ requires a
> subscription, I am reprinting the whole thing in-line below.  (So much for
> copyright law.)
>
> Frankly, I think Henninger cribbed this idea - format and everything -
> from the opera-l
> member, I don't remember who, who did that brilliant Obama opera spoof in
> 2008 that
> showed up all over the web.  I don't have time to search the archives for
> it but I am sure it
> is there.  This one is not nearly as funny but still worth a chuckle or
> two.  In any case,
> Henninger should have given the opera-l piece that inspired this some
> credit.
>
> CH
>
> *********************
>
> Trump: The Opera
>
> Trump: Donald Trump
> Crooked Hillary: Hillary Clinton
> Lyin’ Ted: Ted Cruz
> Little Marco: Marco Rubio
> Low Energy Jeb: Jeb Bush
> The Director: James Comey
> Huma the Maidservant: Huma Abedin
> Carlos Danger: Anthony Weiner
> The Trump Clan: Ivanka, Melania, Donald Jr., Eric
> The Clinton Cronies: John Podesta, Cheryl Mills, Terry McAuliffe
> Spear Carriers: Chris Christie, Rudy Giuliani, Billy Bush, Corey
> Lewandowski, Miss Universe
> 1996
>
> The Mainstream Media Chorus
>
> My Husband: Bill Clinton (Mr. Clinton’s performance is made possible by a
> special gift from
> the Opera Society of Kazakhstan.)
>
> Act One
>
> Scene 1: A dining room at Trump’s Mar-a-Lago estate in Florida.
>
> Trump, the scion of an American real-estate family, is eating dinner,
> seated at one end of a
> 60-foot-long table. At the other end is his wife, Melania. Along the sides
> of the table are the
> Trump Family—his daughter Ivanka and two older sons, Donald Jr. and Eric.
> Trump puts
> down his Big Mac and says, “I am going to be president.” Ivanka says: “Of
> what?” Trump,
> reddening, shouts: “What else? Of the United States!” Melania faints,
> falling to the floor.
>
> As Donald Jr. rushes to revive Melania, a short, wiry man enters the
> dining room. Eric says
> to his father: “Who is this guy?” Trump tells the family his name is Corey
> Lewandowski.
> Trump says he found Lewandowski in New Hampshire and that he will run
> Trump’s
> presidential campaign. Revived, Melania implores her husband: “Why have
> you done this to
> me?” Trump replies: “I want to build a wall.” Trump and Lewandowski sing
> the moving
> construction duet: “A beautiful wall (Un bel muro).”
>
> Scene 2: A Republican primary debate.
>
> Trump stands behind a podium on a stage. On either side of him, extending
> to the edges of
> the stage, are 15 men and a woman who all say they are running for the
> Republican
> presidential nomination. The debate begins and Trump announces that he
> will not address
> anyone by their real name. Instead, he refers to them as Lyin’ Ted, Little
> Marco and Low
> Energy Jeb.
>
> The men have heard rumors of Trump’s wrathful followers, the Trumpians,
> and accept
> Trump’s insults. Lyin’ Ted attempts to placate Trump, addressing him as
> “my good friend,
> Donald.” Trump hears this as an insult and replies that Lyin’ Ted’s father
> might have had
> something to do with the Kennedy assassination. Lyin’ Ted pulls a knife
> from his belt. Carly
> Fiorina holds on to Lyin’ Ted’s wrist and in a terrifying aria warns Trump
> to “beware the
> revenge of women (la vendetta delle donne).” Gripping the sides of his
> lectern, Trump vows
> he will never again look upon the face of Fiorina.
>
> Act Two
>
> Scene: An interrogation room at the FBI.
>
> It is late Saturday afternoon. Light from the setting sun illuminates the
> faces of Democratic
> presidential candidate Crooked Hillary, the Director James Comey, and
> Crooked Hillary’s
> lawyer and confidante, Cheryl Mills. Comey asks Crooked Hillary if it is
> true that while she
> was Secretary of State, she maintained a personal email server.
>
> Crooked Hillary replies with one of the most extended arias in the history
> of opera: “I do not
> recall (Non ricordo).” Comey asks if she used the server to discuss her
> daughter’s wedding.
> Crooked Hillary replies: “Non ricordo.”
>
> The Director asks if she has ever heard of the Clinton Foundation. Crooked
> Hillary rises from
> the table and shrieks, in a piercing F above high C: “Non ricordo! Non
> ricordo!”
>
> Mills, the confidante, leans forward and asks Comey in a low, ominous
> whisper if the FBI is
> recording their conversation. The Director says she has insulted him,
> smashes Mills’ laptop
> against the wall and orders them to leave the building.
>
> Act Three
>
> Scene One: An outdoor stage in Palm Beach, Florida.
>
> Trump, beset by the vast forces of Crooked Hillary and various female
> accusers, has
> retreated to his kingdom in southern Florida. Standing before a huge
> throng, Trump defends
> himself by singing the Duke of Mantua’s aria from Verdi’s “Rigoletto”:
> “Questa o quella (This
> woman or that woman).” Trump suddenly cries out that Crooked Hillary
> “should be locked
> up!” The Trumpian chorus thunders: “Lock her up! Lock her up!
> (Rinchiudetela!)”
>
> Scene Two: The basement of Crooked Hillary’s castle in Chappaqua.
>
> It is the night before the election. Crooked Hillary, Huma the
> Maidservant, Carlos Danger
> and James Comey sit at a table on top of which is a silver chalice and
> small ceramic pitcher.
> Behind them is a mammoth pile of destroyed electronics—laptops, PCs,
> BlackBerrys,
> servers.
>
> The Director places a document on the table and the three sign it. Carlos
> Danger pours
> white liquid from the pitcher into the chalice and all drink from it,
> including Comey. As the
> others seem to fall asleep, Crooked Hillary rises to sing her last aria:
> “I spent my entire life
> helping everyone (Tutta la mia vita).”
>
> Final Act
>
> Scene: A golden apartment in Trump Tower on Fifth Ave.
>
> It is 4 a.m. on election morning. Trump is at his desk, tweeting curses
> and maledictions at
> his enemies. Trump’s consigliere, Rudolph Giuliani, enters the room and
> tells Trump he is
> still a genius. Trump tweets more curses. The Trump Family enters with
> Chris Christie, now
> returned from exile in New Jersey.
>
> All walk out onto a balcony above Fifth Avenue, led by Trump. A crowd has
> filled the street
> below. Trump suddenly climbs onto a chair and raises his arms, as if about
> to jump into the
> crowd. Instead, Trump raises his right hand, forms his thumb and fingers
> into a delicate
> zero and sings the final aria in the 72-hour-long opera: “Believe me
> (Credetemi). It will be
> so beautiful. It’s going to be very, very beautiful. Believe me.”
>
> Opera ends. Trump begins three days of curtain calls.
>
> **********************************************
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