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Subject: "Trump: The Opera" in the Wall Street Journal
From: Charles Harrison <[log in to unmask]>
Reply-To:Charles Harrison <[log in to unmask]>
Date:Thu, 3 Nov 2016 09:12:39 -0400

text/plain (137 lines)

Here is a piece by Dan Henninger in the Wall Street Journal today.  Because WSJ requires a 
subscription, I am reprinting the whole thing in-line below.  (So much for copyright law.)

Frankly, I think Henninger cribbed this idea - format and everything - from the opera-l 
member, I don't remember who, who did that brilliant Obama opera spoof in 2008 that 
showed up all over the web.  I don't have time to search the archives for it but I am sure it 
is there.  This one is not nearly as funny but still worth a chuckle or two.  In any case, 
Henninger should have given the opera-l piece that inspired this some credit.  



Trump: The Opera

Trump: Donald Trump
Crooked Hillary: Hillary Clinton
Lyin’ Ted: Ted Cruz
Little Marco: Marco Rubio
Low Energy Jeb: Jeb Bush
The Director: James Comey
Huma the Maidservant: Huma Abedin
Carlos Danger: Anthony Weiner
The Trump Clan: Ivanka, Melania, Donald Jr., Eric
The Clinton Cronies: John Podesta, Cheryl Mills, Terry McAuliffe
Spear Carriers: Chris Christie, Rudy Giuliani, Billy Bush, Corey Lewandowski, Miss Universe 

The Mainstream Media Chorus

My Husband: Bill Clinton (Mr. Clinton’s performance is made possible by a special gift from 
the Opera Society of Kazakhstan.)

Act One

Scene 1: A dining room at Trump’s Mar-a-Lago estate in Florida.

Trump, the scion of an American real-estate family, is eating dinner, seated at one end of a 
60-foot-long table. At the other end is his wife, Melania. Along the sides of the table are the 
Trump Family—his daughter Ivanka and two older sons, Donald Jr. and Eric. Trump puts 
down his Big Mac and says, “I am going to be president.” Ivanka says: “Of what?” Trump, 
reddening, shouts: “What else? Of the United States!” Melania faints, falling to the floor.

As Donald Jr. rushes to revive Melania, a short, wiry man enters the dining room. Eric says 
to his father: “Who is this guy?” Trump tells the family his name is Corey Lewandowski. 
Trump says he found Lewandowski in New Hampshire and that he will run Trump’s 
presidential campaign. Revived, Melania implores her husband: “Why have you done this to 
me?” Trump replies: “I want to build a wall.” Trump and Lewandowski sing the moving 
construction duet: “A beautiful wall (Un bel muro).”

Scene 2: A Republican primary debate.

Trump stands behind a podium on a stage. On either side of him, extending to the edges of 
the stage, are 15 men and a woman who all say they are running for the Republican 
presidential nomination. The debate begins and Trump announces that he will not address 
anyone by their real name. Instead, he refers to them as Lyin’ Ted, Little Marco and Low 
Energy Jeb.

The men have heard rumors of Trump’s wrathful followers, the Trumpians, and accept 
Trump’s insults. Lyin’ Ted attempts to placate Trump, addressing him as “my good friend, 
Donald.” Trump hears this as an insult and replies that Lyin’ Ted’s father might have had 
something to do with the Kennedy assassination. Lyin’ Ted pulls a knife from his belt. Carly 
Fiorina holds on to Lyin’ Ted’s wrist and in a terrifying aria warns Trump to “beware the 
revenge of women (la vendetta delle donne).” Gripping the sides of his lectern, Trump vows 
he will never again look upon the face of Fiorina.

Act Two

Scene: An interrogation room at the FBI.

It is late Saturday afternoon. Light from the setting sun illuminates the faces of Democratic 
presidential candidate Crooked Hillary, the Director James Comey, and Crooked Hillary’s 
lawyer and confidante, Cheryl Mills. Comey asks Crooked Hillary if it is true that while she 
was Secretary of State, she maintained a personal email server.

Crooked Hillary replies with one of the most extended arias in the history of opera: “I do not 
recall (Non ricordo).” Comey asks if she used the server to discuss her daughter’s wedding. 
Crooked Hillary replies: “Non ricordo.”

The Director asks if she has ever heard of the Clinton Foundation. Crooked Hillary rises from 
the table and shrieks, in a piercing F above high C: “Non ricordo! Non ricordo!”

Mills, the confidante, leans forward and asks Comey in a low, ominous whisper if the FBI is 
recording their conversation. The Director says she has insulted him, smashes Mills’ laptop 
against the wall and orders them to leave the building.

Act Three

Scene One: An outdoor stage in Palm Beach, Florida.

Trump, beset by the vast forces of Crooked Hillary and various female accusers, has 
retreated to his kingdom in southern Florida. Standing before a huge throng, Trump defends 
himself by singing the Duke of Mantua’s aria from Verdi’s “Rigoletto”: “Questa o quella (This 
woman or that woman).” Trump suddenly cries out that Crooked Hillary “should be locked 
up!” The Trumpian chorus thunders: “Lock her up! Lock her up! (Rinchiudetela!)”

Scene Two: The basement of Crooked Hillary’s castle in Chappaqua.

It is the night before the election. Crooked Hillary, Huma the Maidservant, Carlos Danger 
and James Comey sit at a table on top of which is a silver chalice and small ceramic pitcher. 
Behind them is a mammoth pile of destroyed electronics—laptops, PCs, BlackBerrys, 

The Director places a document on the table and the three sign it. Carlos Danger pours 
white liquid from the pitcher into the chalice and all drink from it, including Comey. As the 
others seem to fall asleep, Crooked Hillary rises to sing her last aria: “I spent my entire life 
helping everyone (Tutta la mia vita).”

Final Act

Scene: A golden apartment in Trump Tower on Fifth Ave.

It is 4 a.m. on election morning. Trump is at his desk, tweeting curses and maledictions at 
his enemies. Trump’s consigliere, Rudolph Giuliani, enters the room and tells Trump he is 
still a genius. Trump tweets more curses. The Trump Family enters with Chris Christie, now 
returned from exile in New Jersey.

All walk out onto a balcony above Fifth Avenue, led by Trump. A crowd has filled the street 
below. Trump suddenly climbs onto a chair and raises his arms, as if about to jump into the 
crowd. Instead, Trump raises his right hand, forms his thumb and fingers into a delicate 
zero and sings the final aria in the 72-hour-long opera: “Believe me (Credetemi). It will be 
so beautiful. It’s going to be very, very beautiful. Believe me.”

Opera ends. Trump begins three days of curtain calls.

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