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Subject: Re: L' Obama - the opera
From: Micaele Sparacino <[log in to unmask]>
Reply-To:Micaele Sparacino <[log in to unmask]>
Date:Sat, 6 Dec 2008 15:57:13 -0500

text/plain (356 lines)

Let's at least get the title right....IL OBAMA! (unless he has had a 
sex change)

Opera Bel Canto Washington
"Celebrating the 70 Operas of Gaetano Donizetti"

-----Original Message-----
From: Konrad Kuchenbach <[log in to unmask]>
To: [log in to unmask]
Sent: Sat, 6 Dec 2008 9:15 am
Subject: L' Obama - the opera

> I believe this has been posted before; however, a previously unknown
> epilogue has been discovered by  a noted Milwaukee professor.


> L’Obama, ossia L’Avvento del Messia - Opera in Tre Atti
> Personaggi:
> Barracco Obama, Il Messia, Redentore del Mondo - Tenore Miraoloso
> Santa Micaela della Revoluzione, sua sposa - Soprano Amaro
> Giovanni Maccheno, Senatore, Avversario dello Obama - Basso Buffo
> Sara Palino, Governatrice del Alaska e Reginetta di Bellezza -
> Coloratura Buffa
> Guglielmo Priapo, Ex-Presidente - Tenore Mentitore
> Hillaria, sua Sposa, altra Avversaria dello Obama - Soprano Ambizioso
> Elena Tomasso, una strega - Contralto Venenoso
> Giuseppe Bideno, “Piedimbocca” - Tenore Buffo
> Il Spirito di Giorgio Secondo, L‘Abominazione - Baritono Cattivo
> Il Spirito di Ruscio Limbago, Bocca Grande - Basso Noioso
> Jeremia Ritto, un uomo pazzo, pastore dello Obama - Basso Demagogico
> Guglielmo Ayers, terroristo Americano, amico dello Obama - Tenore
> Anarchico
> Un Sempliciotto - Tenore Profetica
> Il Popolo, La Media Elit
e, Il Mondo, Il Congresso, Terroristi.
> La Piazza del Cattedrale di Washington.
> It is the day after the election. Outside the Washington Cathedral,
> the People and La Media Elite celebrate the victory of Barracco
> Obama over his adversary, Giovanni Maccheno (Coro: “Esultate! Il
> Messia è venuto!”). The World enters and joins The People in their
> celebration, singing their own chorus rejoicing in the fact that
> Obama’s election will hasten the demise of American power and
> influence (“America è in debolezza, evviva!”) The two choruses swell
> and merge in a powerful contrapuntal choral episode. As the chorus
> reaches its climax, trumpets herald the arrival of Lord Obama the
> Most Merciful, who enters with his wife, Santa Micaela della
> Revoluzione and his retinue. The crowd becomes frenzied, with some
> falling in a swoon (“Obama! Obama! Redentore del Mondo! Io manco!”).
> Obama heals two lepers and resurrects the dead daughter of a
> Washington policeman. He then addresses the crowd (“Nel posar sul
> mio capo la corona”). At the sound of his voice, the crowd falls
> silent, gazing up at him with adoring, vacant expressions. In an
> eloquent aria, Obama promises that the dark days of the Tyrant,
> Giorgio Secondo, are over (“Dopo si lunga notte”) and a new Golden
> Age will dawn for the world under his rule (“Un siglo d’oro 8
> venuto”): the economy shall heal, America’s enemies shall beat their
> bomb jackets into plowshares, the lame shall walk, there will be a
> chicken in every pot, the whole world shall have universal health
> care, all the prisoners in Guantanamo Bay will be released, and
> planes shall arrive and take off on schedule. Each stanza of this
> great aria is punctuated by the chorus (“Ohmmm! Salvatore!”) At its
> conclusion, Obama invites The People and The World to a celebration
> at which he will personally change the water into wine and feed the
> guests with seven croissants and five grande lattes. He enters the
> cathedral for his coronation, followed by the crowd.
> From the right, Giovanni Maccheno and Sara Palino enter the deserted
> piazza. Giovanni laments his loss of the election to Barracco Obama
> (“O mia vergogna!”). In a rambling, boring monologue sung in a
> monotone, he recites his brave history on the battlefield (“Si, fui
> soldato!”) and wonders why this was not enough to get him elected 30
> years later. In a lilting refrain (“Tu sei troppo vecchio”), Sara
> Palino suggests that it might be because he’s a worn-out old has-
> been with the excitement level of a rusty AAA battery. She reminds
> him of her own qualifications for Vice-President (“Può vedere Russia
> dalla mia casa”) and what a help she has been to him. To cheer him
 up, the perky Sara launches into one of the best known arias in the
> score, the brilliant coloratura Polonaise “Io son Regina di
> Bellezza,” in which she sings of her experience as a beauty pageant
> contestant. But Giovanni is inconsolable: in a touching duet, he and
> Sara lament how they will now have to go wandering across the
> country, begging for speaking engagements (“Andrem raminghi è
> poveri”). Suddenly Giovanni hears someone approaching (“Ohimé,
> s’appressa alcun!”) and he and Sara hide behind a column.
> From the left enter former President Guglielmo Priapo and his
> termagant wife, Hillaria. Hillaria is furious over her defeat at the
> hands of L’Obama in the primaries. In a passionate outburst ranging
> up to a shrill, wobbly high C, she rages that the Prize was within
> her grasp (“È mio! È tutto mio!”), but she was betrayed by La Media
> Elite who abandoned her for un altro amore. Must she live to see
> this upstart novice on the throne while she languishes in boring
> Senate committee meetings? Is it for this that she has suffered
> public humiliation and eaten shit sandwiches served by her husband
> for the past 35 years? No, it is too much! (È troppo! non reggo!
> soffoco!”) Gugliemo counsels patience: her day will come, and
> L’Obama will overreach himself. He tells Hillaria that he has a plan
> to get them both back
 in la Casa Bianca, where she can rule while he
> chases interns. Just then he spots Guglielmo and Sara off to the
> side, and he begins to make a move on Sara. He tells her she is a
> real babe, and this develops into the famous Quartet, “Bella figlia
> dell’Alaska:” Guglielmo tries to grope Sara; Sara tells him a joke
> about lipstick on pitbulls; Hillaria sings that her day of vengeance
> will come; and Guglielmo stutters, in repetitive phrases, how Obama
> will raise everyone’s taxes and endanger national security.
> When the Quartet ends, the crowd surges out of the cathedral,
> proclaiming the new Messiah, followed by L’Obama in full regalia. A
> powerful concluding ensemble ensues: The People, the World and La
> Media Elite acclaim L’Obama; Barracco heals a lame man and exults in
> his new power; Giovanni Maccheno whines about the ingratitude of the
> American People while Sara Palino practices her baton twirling;
> Guglielmo plans that evening’s rendezvous with his new cutie, while
> Hillaria plots her comeback. Unnoticed in the background, a small
> group of Islamic terrorists rejoice in Obama’s election. Everyone
> then exits to follow Obama to the Reflecting Pool which he will walk
> on down the Mall to meet Il Congresso at Il Capitole.
> The piazza is deserted and silent once more. Now enters the
> Simpleton, a crazy homeless man pushing a shopping cart filled with
> old20newspapers. He sings a keening lament, weeping for the
> Motherland and the bitter years that lie ahead.
> Cada il sipario lentamente.
> Scena Primo: L’Offizia di Hillaria nel Capitole.
> Hillaria is meeting with Guglielmo Priapo. She berates him for
> avoiding her and doing nothing to bring her any closer to la Casa
> Bianca (“Perché mi sfuggi?”) Two years have past, and she is still
> sitting in interminable committee meetings and having to pretend
> that she wants Obama to succeed! When is Guglielmo going to stop
> porking her pages and do something? Guglielmo replies that the two
> years have not exactly been wasted (“Deh, pensate!”): the hated,
> deposed Giorgio Secondo is dead, having been torn limb from limb by
> grieving war widows, mothers and children while he was giving a
> speech to a veteran’s organization. Things have been going badly for
> Lord Obama as well, and Il Popolo are getting restless. The
> opportunity is ripening. And as an additional bonus, Ruscio Limbago
> has been driven from the airwaves by the revival of the Fairness
> Doctrine, which Obama has used to silence all effective opposition
> to him on radio and television. With no outlet for his hot air,
> Limbago floated off somewhere like an untethered balloon into the
> ether, presumably to his death. But Hillaria is not to be deterred:
> when is Guglielmo going to do something? (
Basta di parlare! Azione
> io voglio!”) Guglielmo responds that he has done something: since
> Hillaria wants to know the future, he has arranged for the ancient
> Washington hag, Elena Tomasso, to visit Hillaria that very afternoon
> and tell her the future. Just at that moment, there is a knock on
> the door. Guglielmo leaves and Elena Tomasso enters, a hideous old
> woman with a tongue that drips poison.
> Hillaria demands to know what the future holds for her (“Parlami dal
> futuro!”). In the impressive aria, “Re dell’abisso,” Tomasso summons
> the spirit of Giorgio Secondo. His horrible visage rises from the
> floor, with bloody hands holding his very small brain. Giorgio
> demands to know who has summoned him and bemoans his fate in the
> afterlife (“Mal per me!”): condemned to be waterboarded enternally
> while his entrails are unwound and used to re-fence the ranch in
> Crawford. Hillaria demands to know her future (“Dimmi, o spirito!”).
> Giorgio replies in sepulchral tones that she has to ask one more
> powerful than him. To her horror, he summons the spirit of Ruscio
> Limbago, a disembodied fat head with a mouth twice normal size. In
> an eerie prophecy (“O Hillaria, Hillaria, Hillaria!”) Limbago tells
> Hillaria that she will be L’Obama’s successor, and that his days are
> numbered. But her reign will be as scandal-plagued as was her
> husba
nd’s, she will accomplish nothing of note, and she will die the
> same frustrated, bitter woman that she is. With a final cry of
> "Dittos!", the head of Limbago disappears in thunder and lightening.
> Hillaria, elated by the first part of the prophecy (“O lieto
> augurio!”), fails to hear the second part. Elena gives Hillaria a
> magic dagger, which she is to plunge into Obama’s back when the
> opportunity presents itself. In an exultant cabaletta, Hillaria
> rejoices with the dagger (“O, acciar!”), while in pertichini Elena
> Tomasso mutters that this woman is nuts (“È una pazzarella!”) and
> that she wants to stay as far away from her as possible.
> Scena Secondo: L’Offiza Ovale nella Casa Bianca.
> The Secretary of Education, Guglielmo Ayers, and Jeremia Ritto, the
> Commissar of Culture and Obama’s spiritual advisor, are discussing
> the state of the administration. Ayers asks where Lord Obama is
> (“Obama d’ové?). Ritto replies that he is returning from his daily
> walk on the Potomac but that he has been delayed by having to drive
> some demons out of a herd of swine. Ayers notes that conditions in
> the country have been worsening and the people will soon be ready
> for The Revolution. In a buffo duet (“Un segreto d’importanza”),
> Ayers sings of his secret plan to radicalize kindergartners, while
> Ritto keeps up a steady contrapu
ntal patter (“God Damn America! God
> Damn America”)
> Lord Obama enters and after kissing his ring, Ritto and Ayers leave.
> Obama is in a foul mood, and he curses a rubber plant which promptly
> withers. Obama slumps at his desk and in the powerful monologue, “I
> have attained supreme power,” he laments the how his dreams and
> hopes have turned sour. The economy has worsened, and famine stalks
> the land. A new terrorist attack has killed thousands, led by a
> jihadist Obama ordered released from Gitmo because his
> constitutional rights were being violated. The disillusioned,
> disappointed People are starting to curse his name, and lewd
> graffiti about Micaela has started to appear in the subways. He
> starts to pray for guidance (“Gran Dio, soccorrimi!”) but stops when
> he remembers that religious activity of any kind on Federal property
> is now a criminal offense. He launches into a tuneful arietta about
> the futility of life (“Ho bastante di niente”). Micaela enters and
> begins to nag Obama about his failure to turn American into a
> Worker’s Paradise (“La revoluzione dov’é?”) Seeing his glum mood,
> she tries to cheer him up (“Mio caro sposino”) and urges him to
> announce a new initiative at the upcoming State of the Union
> address. Encouraged by Micaela’s words, Obama joins her in an
> exultant duet (“Ora di gloria s0appressa!) as the curtain falls.
> Il Capitole: la Camera della Casa dei Rappresentativi.
> The Chamber is divided into two groups: I Repubblicani on one side,
> and I Democrati on the other. This is the famous “Coro dei
> Partisani” - the Repubblicani sing how, after four years in the
> minority, they are nothing but a bunch of impotent weasels (“Sono
> donnole impotente). The Democrati mock the Repubblicani for not even
> being able to sustain a filibuster (“Ha! Ha! Ha! Non hanno di 40!”)
> Up on the dais, the Parlatrice della Casa dei Rappresentativi, Nana
> Pelosi, and the Vice-President, Giovanni Bideno sit on their
> thrones. Nana Pelosi trills happily, while Giovanni Biden can only
> grunt (“Hmpf! Hmpf! Hmpf!”) because after two years of progressively
> embarrassing gaffes, his foot is by now permanently implanted in his
> mouth. Giovanni Maccheno enters and sits with I Repubblicani,
> immediately putting the Senators on either side of him to sleep.
> Sara Palino sits in the balcony, primping for the cameras and doing
> her nails.
> Lord Obama enters the chamber and the politicians crowd around him
> sycophantically. A woman touches the hem of his robe and is healed
> of an issue of blood. He progresses solemnly to the dais and begins
> his speech (“Ascoltami, Congresso!”). But no sooner has he begun to
> speak than the distant angry murmur of 
a crowd is heard approaching.
> The members of Congress all start in alarm (“Quai gridi!”). One of
> the Capitol police enters and announces, in frightened tones, that
> Il Popolo are approaching in an angry mob with scythes and
> pitchforks. L’Obama orders them to be admitted, and the mob rushes
> in (“Vendetta! Strage! Sterminio!”). They’ve had enough of two years
> of disappointment, failure and betrayal, and they want Real Change
> (“Vero cangia vogliamo!”) Jeremia Ritto rushes around crazily,
> shouting “God Damn America!” L’Obama rebukes the crowd for its
> behaviour (“Quest’è dunque del Popolo la voce?”): didn’t they just
> acclaim him as their Salvatore two years before? Fistfights break
> out between the Repubblicani and the Democrati.
> In an impassioned plea, Obama calls for peace (“Plebe! Patrizi!
> Popolo!”) Moved by his appeal, Il Popolo and Il Congresso quiet
> down. But just as L’Obama resumes his speech, a cry is heard
> (“Guarda nel balcone!”): Sara Palino has begun twirling flaming
> batons in the Gallery while singing an inane coloratura ditty
> (“Belle fiamme”). While all attention is focused on Sara, Hillaria
> dashes up to the dais and plunges the dagger into Obama’s back
> (“Quest’è il bacio di Hillaria”). When attention returns to the
> front, everyone sees Hillaria standi
ng where L’Obama was, rejoicing
> in her new-found power (“Salgo giä nel Presidencia aurata!”) As
> everyone proclaims the new queen (“Regina tu sei!”), Sara Palino
> remarks on how her and Hillaria’s plan worked after all, and
> announces that her agreed-upon reward is that in the new
> administration, she will be Secretary of State so that she can get
> some foreign policy experience for her Presidential run in 2012. The
> crowd reacts ("Orror! Orror! Orror!").

> Thanks for forwarding the epic.  When a friend of mine sent it to me
> a couple of weeks ago, I thought it seemed incomplete, as if there
> was a scene missing.  After extensive and painstaking research, I
> managed to reconstruct the crucial Epilogue, which I thought might
> interest you.
>       Epilogue (Reconstr. Phillabaum)
>     Scene:  The steps of the Capitol.
>         Hillaria and her entourage enter and she begins to proclaim
> her new regime's policies:  ("Ho potenza suprema!
>         Suddenly Obama appears ("Non son morta!") and gently touches
> Hillaria with the Sacred Flagpole.  ("Mit diesem Speer...")
>         The madness leaves Hillaria's face and she rapturously
> proclaims that Obama lives and will rule wisely and well ("Ecco il
> presidente!")
>         Sara Palino screams in fury and descends into the earth
> surrounded by clouds of ice, snow
 and petroleum ("O mio furor!")
>         Everyone sings joyously and endlessly in praise of Obama and
> the future ("Viva Obama, viva change!!!)
> Amazingly I also found references to an even more obscure Germanic
> work, a cycle in four parts, in fact.
>     The Ring of the Bushungen
>           Vorabend:  Das Potomagold
>           1.  Die  Hwushkuere
>           2.  Sieglinton
>           3.  Die Elephantendaemmerung
> Only the titles have turned up so far, but we can always hope that
> the complete work will appear someday, perhaps in an improperly
> classified file or on an old reel of tape in the White House archives.

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